Lost Your Motivation? Find It with These Three Proven Ingredients

Learn the Science-Backed Secrets to Break the Cycle and Build Lasting Habits

💡 In Today’s Edition:

• 🌱 Roots Reflection: Why We Keep Starting and Stopping

• 🧘🏽‍♂️ Awareness Action: Understanding the Power of Identity and Motivation

• 💛 Kindness Opportunity: Align Your Actions with Your Aspirational Story

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🌱 Roots Reflection: Why We Keep Starting and Stopping

How many times have you told yourself you’d become the kind of person who works out, eats better, or finally sticks to a morning routine? You dive in, give it your best shot—until a missed workout or a “cheat” meal derails everything. After repeatedly falling off track, you’re now questioning yourself: Maybe I’m just not that person.

The thing is, it’s not about lacking willpower or discipline. It’s about the story running in the background. When you see yourself as someone who struggles to stick with things, that identity shapes your actions. It’s a loop—your behaviors reinforce the belief that you’re just not the kind of person who follows through.

I know this pattern all too well. For years, I’d hit the gym around New Year’s and my birthday, convinced this time I’d stick with it. I’d go for a week or two, doing the same routine—standing in line for a treadmill, slogging through the elliptical, maybe a few machines. But I didn’t enjoy it. It felt like something I should do, not something I wanted to do. Eventually, I’d lose steam, skip a session, and stop altogether. Then the cycle would repeat.

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🧘🏽‍♂️ Awareness Action: Understanding the Power of Identity and Motivation

The turning point came when I found a gym where I felt connected to the community. It wasn’t just about the workouts—it was about finding people who shared similar goals and interests. I met a group that trained for obstacle course races (OCRs). The energy was different.

For the first time, I saw myself not as someone struggling to work out but as someone who belonged. I wanted to show up, not because I had to, but because it felt fulfilling. I was gaining strength and confidence, but I was also connecting with others and becoming part of something larger.

This shift is well-explained by Self-Determination Theory (SDT), developed by psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan¹. SDT suggests that motivation becomes sustainable when three core needs are met:

1. Autonomy – making choices that align with your values and sense of self.

2. Competency – building confidence as you see progress over time.

3. Relatedness – feeling connected to others who support and share your journey.

For me, autonomy came from choosing a new challenge that excited me and aligned with who I wanted to be. Competency grew as I saw myself getting better with each race, and the connections I made with others gave me a sense of relatedness and belonging. This combination reinforced a new identity.

This is where identity-based habits come in, as James Clear describes in Atomic Habits. It’s not about aiming for a specific outcome—like running faster or losing 10 pounds. It’s about becoming the kind of person who embraces challenges and finds growth in them. When you align your actions with who you want to be, the behaviors and results follow.

Adapted from Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Research supports the powerful connection between identity and behavior. A 2019 study published in Frontiers in Psychology examined how habits that align with one’s values and self-identity are more likely to be sustained over time². When habits reflect aspects of our “true self,” they become integrated into our sense of who we are, which strengthens self-esteem and drives behavior change. The study found that explicitly linking habits to personal values not only deepens cognitive and emotional integration but also motivates a person to strive towards their ideal self.​

Reflective Prompts:

• When have you made a decision that felt fully aligned with the person you want to become?

• What’s a small win you’ve experienced recently, and how did it impact your motivation?

• Who in your life supports you on your journey toward your goals?

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💛 Kindness Opportunity: Align Your Actions with Your Aspirational Story

Motivation doesn’t come from forcing yourself to do hard things—it comes from being the kind of person who does them naturally. You do this by aligning your daily actions with the person you want to be. Here’s how to start making that shift:

1. Own Your Choices. Motivation strengthens when your actions feel genuinely like your own. Rather than approaching exercise or healthy eating as something you should do, frame it as something you choose because it aligns with your aspirational self-identity—who you want to become. When I finally shifted my mindset and saw exercise as a choice I made for myself, it became part of my life.
   
   This week, try making one small decision that reflects the person you’re growing into—maybe it’s going for a walk after dinner or preparing a meal that nourishes you. The key is to feel the ownership of that choice.
   

2. Build on Small Wins: Long-lasting change doesn’t come from dramatic leaps but from consistent, small victories. When I set a goal to do a pull-up, it took me a year of steady effort to achieve it. I started with resistance bands, gradually building strength until I could finally do one on my own. Each small improvement along the way reinforced my belief that I was becoming stronger and more capable.
   

   Think of one small action that feels manageable for you this week—a 10-minute stretch, cooking a wholesome meal, or taking a few moments for mindful breathing. Recognize these small steps as evidence of your progress and let them build momentum.
   

3. Find Your Tribe: It’s easier to stay motivated when you’re surrounded by people who share your values and support your journey. When I made friends at the gym, it transformed the experience. Going there was about working out, and it was about connecting with others, and supporting each other’s growth.
   
   Assess your current circles. If your current social circle doesn’t align with your goals, explore new ways to connect with people who do. Join a local class, participate in an online group, or reach out to someone with similar aspirations.

   If you’re looking for a supportive community of others on a health journey, check out the RAK Your Life Tribes (Plant-Based, Heart Health, and Men’s Peak Tribe), were we have weeky virtual calls to keep everyone motivated, accountable and connected. In November, I’m launching the RAK ON Membership Community, where we’ll have live events like yoga, cook-alongs, and breathwork sessions, all for one monthly fee. If that feels like the kind of environment you need, keep an eye out for more details and sign up for the waitlist.

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Motivation feels natural when your actions align with who you want to become. By owning your choices, celebrating small wins, and finding a supportive community, you create a life that feels right for you—step by step, one action at a time.

So, what’s the story you’re telling yourself right now? And what’s one small step you can take to align with the person you’re becoming?

Until next time…
Live well and RAK ON,
Dr. Rak 👊🏽

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P.S. Ready to take control of your health and live life to the fullest? Whether you’re looking for personalized care or the support and motivation of a health Tribe, I’m here to help. I’m only taking on 3 new patients this month, so if you're serious about making a change, visit my website or book a free, no-obligation discovery call with me, Dr. Rak, today!

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1. Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). "The General Causality Orientations Scale: Self-Determination in Personality." Journal of Research in Personality, 19(2), 109-134. https://doi.org/10.1016/0092-6566(85)90023-6

2. Fournier, M., Behbahani, S., Polman, R., & Gaspar, C. M. (2019). "Habit and Identity: Behavioral, Cognitive, Affective, and Motivational Facets of an Integrated Self." Frontiers in Psychology, 10. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01504