Dr. Rak (“rock) here.
For most of my adult life, prior to ten years ago, I started every new year the same way.
“I’m trying to eat better.”
I said it at work. I said it to my wife. I even said it to myself sitting in my car before I ordered from the drive thru.
And every single time, that one small word did its quiet damage.
Trying.
The gap I lived in
Trying is a hand hovering near a door. Close enough to look like you mean it. Never quite walking through.
It keeps one foot in your old life, so the failure does not hurt as much when it comes. And it always seemed to come.
I lived in that gap for years. I had prediabetes. I had high blood pressure. I had a long, sincere list of good intentions that never turned into anything I could feel.
I thought my problem was willpower. Or the right plan. Or more information.
I had read the books. I had watched the documentaries. I knew exactly what I was supposed to do.
Knowing was never the problem.
What actually changed
Here is the strange part. The first thing that changed was not my plate.
It was a sentence.
I stopped saying “I’m trying to eat plant-based.”
I started saying “I am someone who nourishes my body.”
It sounds almost too small to matter. It mattered more than any meal plan I ever followed.
The food did not transform overnight. But the weight of every small decision did. A walk after dinner stopped being a chore I was attempting. It became something I simply do, because that is who I am now.
Each choice stopped feeling like effort. It started feeling like a small vote for a person I already believed I was.
“It’s not that I can’t. It’s that I don’t.”
A patient of mine recently said it better than I ever have.
We were talking about food and willpower, and she said, “It’s not that I can’t eat processed junk. It’s that I don’t.”
No struggle in it. No countdown to the day she would finally cave.
Just settled ownership.
Listen to the difference. “I can’t” is a fence someone else built around you. “I don’t” is a line you drew yourself, because it matches who you are.
One of those wears you down. The other one supports your aspirational identity.
The part I want you to take with you
You are not trying to become someone, my friend.
You already are someone.
The words you use about yourself either remind you of that, or they quietly talk you out of it. All day long. Usually without you noticing.
So this week, I want you to catch one sentence.
The next time you hear yourself say “I’m trying to” do something good for your body, stop. Trade it for “I am someone who.”
I’m trying to move more becomes I am someone who enjoys moving my body.
I’m trying to drink less becomes I am someone who takes care of my mornings.
You do not have to believe it all the way yet. You just have to say it, and then let one choice line up behind it.
Then another.
Six months from now, the person making the hard choice at 6pm isn’t forcing themself to keep trying. They are just being who they already decided to be.
So let me ask you the only question that matters this week.
What would change today if you stopped trying, and simply started being?
Live well and RAK ON,
Dr. Rak 👊🏽
Want to stop trying and start being?
That shift is easier with people around you. The RAK ON Tribe is where we do this work together. Live classes, real accountability, and a community that votes for the same kind of person you are becoming.
Start for free, no credit card required. Learn more at www.rakyourlife.com/rakon
👊🏽 ICYMI
ICYMI: I cooked up an Indian snack party with Chef AJ.
Last Friday I joined Chef AJ for a plant-based cooking show, and we threw a full Indian snack party. Chutneys, pakoras, chaat, the works. Come hungry.
▶️ Watch it here
ICYMI: New Health Feast: Rip Esselstyn
In the latest episode of The Health Feast, I sat down with Rip Esselstyn, firefighter turned plant-strong pioneer, for a conversation about food, fear, and what it really takes to change. Well worth your time.
Hit reply and tell me one sentence you are going to trade this week. I read every response.
And if this landed, forward it to one person who has been “trying” for too long. That small act might be the vote they needed.
Disclaimer: Dr. Rak is a board-certified physician, but he is not your physician. This newsletter is for education and inspiration, not medical advice. Nothing here is meant to diagnose or treat any condition. Before making changes to your food, movement, or medications, talk with your own doctor. Your care is personal, and it should stay that way.
These are great words to live by.
I sometimes say (and did today) , One little treat won’t hurt (turned into three treats) I eat good most of the time. Replace with “‘My health is too important to put that “treat” in my body!”