RAK ON: Willpower Isn’t Working—Here’s What Actually Does
How to Overcome the Willpower Trap and Use Skillpower for Sustainable Change
💡 In Today’s Edition:
🌱 Roots Reflection: The Willpower Trap
🧘🏽♂️ Awareness Action: Cultivating Awareness of Willpower’s Role
💛 Kindness Opportunity: Embracing Skillpower for Sustainable Change
🌱 Roots Reflection: The Willpower Trap
"Willpower isn’t just a skill. It’s a muscle, like the muscles in your arms or legs, and it gets tired as it works harder, so there’s less power left over for other things." — Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit
Have you ever started your day with the best intentions—eating a healthy breakfast, making smart choices at lunch—only to find yourself reaching for unhealthy comfort foods by the afternoon or evening? This common experience highlights the flaw in relying solely on willpower to make healthy decisions. Willpower is like a battery; it gets depleted as you use it, especially when you’re faced with a constant stream of decisions and stress throughout the day. By evening, your willpower reserves are lowest, making it much harder to resist temptations.
I used to believe I could push through anything with enough willpower. But after countless afternoons of giving in to snacks in my hospital’s office, I started asking myself: Why do I push through the day only to set myself up to fail later on? Why do I end up feeling bad and ashamed despite my best efforts? It made me wonder: How might I make changes that feel good instead of exhausting? That question led me to rethink the entire approach.
🧘🏽♂️ Awareness Action: Cultivating Awareness of Willpower’s Role
Understanding your willpower isn’t just about knowing when it falters—it’s about learning how to work with it. Start by paying attention to those moments when you’re leaning heavily on willpower. Are there certain times of day, situations, or feelings that make sticking to your healthy choices tougher?
Recognize the Triggers
Once you’ve identified when your willpower is most vulnerable, take a closer look at what’s triggering those moments. Is it stress? Fatigue? Maybe it’s simply the habit of reaching for something quick when you’re feeling low on energy. Whatever it is, recognizing these triggers allows you to plan for them.
Mindful Reflection on Decisions
You’re not perfect. No one is. There are going to be lapses, and when they happen, take a moment to reflect on your decisions. After indulging in that 3 PM treat, ask yourself why you made that choice. Was it a conscious decision, or did you default to the easiest option because your willpower was low?
This is where the power of disillusionment comes into play. Really connect with how that choice made you feel afterward. Did it give you the boost you were hoping for, or did it lead to a crash later on? Did it leave you feeling sluggish or uncomfortable in your body? Did it make you feel disappointed in yourself?
By considering the longer-term discomfort over the short-term pleasure, you can start to see these choices for what they are: quick pleasures that don’t serve your best interests. Over time, this awareness helps you naturally gravitate away from these temptations, not because you’re relying on willpower, but because you’ve become disillusioned with the empty promises they offer.
💛 Kindness Opportunity: Embracing Skillpower for Sustainable Change
Now that you're more aware of how your willpower functions, let's explore how you can make change easier and be more compassionate toward yourself:
Automate Healthy Decisions with Skillpower.
Instead of relying on willpower to make the right choice in every moment, focus on building skillpower—skills and systems that support healthy habits.
For example, meal prepping isn’t just about having food ready—it’s a skill that helps you manage your time and energy efficiently, making healthy choices easier during the week. This approach is kinder to yourself, as it reduces the daily stress of decision-making and helps you feel more in control.
Besides meal prepping, other examples of skills that can reduce your reliance on willpower include organizing your environment to keep unhealthy foods out of sight, establishing a consistent daily routine that builds healthy habits into your schedule, and practicing mindful eating to stay attuned to your hunger and fullness cues.
By planning ahead for moments of weakness—such as having healthier snacks on hand or scheduling regular breaks to manage stress—you create a structure that supports your goals, making it easier to stay on track even when willpower wanes.
Use Skillpower Strategically and Kindly
Skillpower isn’t about striving for perfection; it’s about setting yourself up for success with routines and habits that you can stick with, even on tough days. Sometimes, you have to push through and be disciplined, even when you don’t feel like it. But here’s the key—if you make your routines enjoyable and simple, staying consistent becomes much easier.
For instance, finding a form of exercise that you genuinely enjoy, whether it’s dancing, hiking, or a group fitness class, makes it easier to stay active regularly. When your routine is something you look forward to, it feels less like a chore, and more like a part of your day, you don’t want to miss. Approach these changes with kindness toward yourself, knowing that building new skills takes time, and making them fun can help you stay on track.
We all know how difficult it can be to rely on willpower alone, especially when it leaves us feeling like we’ve come up short. But the truth is that lasting change comes from something deeper—building skills and creating environments that naturally support our goals. By focusing on skillpower, you’re not just making healthy choices possible; you’re making them a natural, enjoyable part of your life.
Until next time…
Live well and RAK ON,
Dr. Rak 👊🏽
P.S. Ready to take control of your health and start living life to the fullest? Whether you’re looking to prevent or reverse chronic diseases with personalized care or find support in a health Tribe, I’m here to help. Discover more on my website or book a free, no-obligation discovery call today!
Thanks for this!